It Is Officially Random
by Roxius
Summary: After writing a fic about all of his friends being disabled, Lelouch is challenged to a duel by Suzaku, and this somehow reminds him of the time Nunnally wrote her own rap song. Please R & R!


Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

Please check out my AMVs and 'Family Geass/Geass Guy' videos on Youtube, too! My name there is "Hikasu3445".

* * *

"...Lelouch..."

"Yes, Suzaku?"

Suzaku raised his head; he looked really pissed. "Why did you write a 50-page fanfic about all of us being handicapped?"

Lelouch shrugged and took a sip of his smoothie before replying, "...Is it really that much of a problem?"

"OF COURSE IT IS!!!" Suzaku snapped, "YOU...YOU GAVE KALLEN PROSTHETIC LEGS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! AND...AND C.C. IS MISSING AN EYE!!! NUNNALLY IS MORBIDLY OBESE (and blind) AND MILLY IS A DUMBASS RETARD!! IT'S...IT'S SICK!!!"

"I think it's hot..." Lelouch murmured.

"EVEN WORSE...THE ONLY PART OF MY BODY THAT'S STILL HUMAN IS MY HEAD!!! I'M A FRICKIN' ROBOT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"Like I said," Lelouch repeated, "I think it's hot..."

"...Why the hell did you make Shirley a spirit that haunts the school, too?"

"Hey, she died, right?! I wanted to be fair and let her appear in the story!"

"BUT WE ALL DIE IN THE END OF YOUR FIC!!!"

"I KNOW! It's funny, right?!"

"IT'S TOTALLY UNETHICAL!!"

Lelouch stood up, aimed his pointer finger at Suzaku's face and shouted, "NO SIR...YOU ARE THE UNETHICAL ONE!!!"

Suzaku slapped Lelouch's hand away. "Sorry, but I won't take such an insult lying down!! Lelouch Lamperouge...I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!!!"

"HO HO!" Lelouch chuckled, "THIS IS JUST LIKE THE TIME YOU FREAKED OUT WHEN I SAID THAT '_PORTAL_' WAS A GAME ABOUT A LESBIAN ROBOT...WHICH IT IS!!!"

Suzaku pulled out a Duel Disk and put it on. "JUST SHUT UP AND GET OUT YOUR DUEL DISK!!! THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL, BITCH!!!"

"VERY WELL!!! I SUMMON MYSTIC ELF (Def/2000) IN DEFENSE MODE..."

After several turns, Suzaku was beginning to panic. He had no monsters nor trap cards on the field, while Lelouch already had a Celtic Guardian (Atk/1400) primed and ready to attack. Closing his eyes, Suzaku focused his inner energy. For some reason, he was wearing an Egyptian Pyramid necklace.

"SU-ZA-KUUUUUUUUUU!!!!"

At that moment, a powerful aura flowed out of Suzaku's body, and his hair now stood on end. Lelouch was speechless.

'SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE GEASS!!' Lelouch thought as he regained his resolve, and he continued the duel despite Suzaku's sudden transformation. 'At least this isn't like the time Nunnally wrote her own rap song...'

* * *

_The Real Nunnally:_

_Y'all act like you never seen a blind girl before  
Jaws all on the floor like Milly, like Lloyd Asplund just burst in the door  
and started whoopin her bitch ass worse than before  
they first were engaged, and she was throwin him over furniture (Ahh!)  
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,  
she didn't just say what I think she did, did she?"  
And Shirley said... nothing you idiots!  
Shirley's dead, she's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)  
Feminist women love Nunnally  
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]  
"Nunnally, I'm sick of her  
Look at her, ridin around on her wheelchair touchin her you-know-what  
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but she's so cute though!"  
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose  
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms  
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't  
but it's cool for Nina Einstein to hump a desk  
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"  
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss  
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids  
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is  
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is  
By the time they join the Rebellion  
They got the 24-hour News don't they?  
"We ain't nothing but mammals..." Well, some of us cannibals  
who cut other people open like Pizza Hut [SLURP]  
But if we can hump desks and dead pink-haired princesses  
then there's no reason that a Lelouch and Suzaku can't elope  
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote  
Women, wave your guns around, sing the chorus and it goes_

_[Chorus: Nunnally (repeat 2X)]_

_'Cause I'm Nunnally, yes I'm the real Nunnally  
All you other Nunnallys are just imitating  
So won't the real Nunnally please stand up,  
please stand up, please stand up?_

_Cornelia don't gotta cuss in her raps to sell his records;  
well I do, so fuck her and fuck you too!  
You think I give a damn about Britannia?  
Half of you anime critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me  
"But Nunnally, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"  
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?  
So you can, sit me here next to Kallen?  
Shit, C.C. better switch me chairs  
so I can sit next to Lelouch and Suzaku  
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first  
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV  
"Yeah, she's cute, but I think he's married to Kallen, hee-hee!"  
I should download her audio on MP3  
and show the whole world how you gave Nunnally VD [AHHH!]  
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me  
so I have sent my mecha here to destroy you [bzzzt]  
And there's a million of us just like me  
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me  
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me  
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!_

_[Chorus]_

_I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you  
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room  
The only difference is I got the balls to say it  
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all  
I just appear on the show and spit it  
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it  
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can  
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums  
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty  
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting  
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens  
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working  
And every single person is a Nunnally lurkin  
She could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings  
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling  
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"  
with her windows down and her system up  
So, will the real Nunnally please stand up?  
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?  
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control  
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?_

_[Chorus 4X]_

_Ha ha  
Guess there's a Nunnally in all of us  
Fuck it, let's all stand up_


End file.
